


The world ended when you fell

by Patatarte



Series: The mixed box [11]
Category: cowchop
Genre: M/M, Post Apocalyptic World, it's sad, nothing is good there, there's a weird desease
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-05
Updated: 2018-09-05
Packaged: 2019-07-07 05:13:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15901593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Patatarte/pseuds/Patatarte
Summary: The world turned to shit, some desease took over,maybe from a bad science, maybe from another world, who knows !Aleks is infected and is living his final moments,James' world is crumbling before his eyes.





	The world ended when you fell

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote it in one go, so if you see any mistakes (and there's probably lots of them, no lies, i don't have a beta) tell me, and...Good read, if you can call a sad fic a good read !

Aleks is moving in his sleep again, tormented by way too many things in this day and age. James gets a rag in the warm bucket of water sitting next to them and passes it on Aleks' face, brows frowning, concerned for his soulmate.

The nightmares always seem more frequent before a bad event, like Aleks is somehow clairvoyant or something. James doesn't want to know what it's about, but knows Aleks will tell him when he wakes up eventually.

James learned the hard way not to shake Aleks awake, the scar under his left eye is a daily reminder. They learned how to be soft with each others these days, that's the only comfort they'll get after all.

When James notices Aleks' chapped lips, he decides to go get more water if he can. It's getting rare, even if they did what they could to get rainwater. It's just not raining as much, or the strong wind just takes everything else with it.

Aleks needs water, they all need that, but Aleks' nightmares might stop a little if he's decently hydrated.

James gets out of the decayed building, moving away the plastic curtain they use as a door. Some of the little village is already awake, of course. The morning patrol is on time and their eyes stay in movement, too nervous to let their guard down.

Aleks and James doesn't trust that place that much, but they can't really afford better. The people there actually helped them as they were falling with exhaustion alongside the road. You can't afford to be picky when the world has fallen.

James just walks with heavy steps to the well, not really hoping much but still decided to check. A woman, Lindsey, is waiting under the little roof of it, her eyes lost in the horizon. They talked a few times before, after all she's one of the people that brung them to that place.

"Hi, James," her voice sounds like what it might have been before all of it went to shit, a bit soft but mostly rough, she's tough and survived until now after all. James just nods at her politely, not really wanting to use his voice. "I have spare clothes you could take, more fitting, if you want." 

That sentence actually gets James to look down at himself. He pinches the fabric and moves it a little, like he only notices now how much weight he lost. He's pretty much floating in that shirt. After clearing his voice, he just manages to say a "that'd be nice, thanks", before trying to get to the well and the water.

Lindsey puts one hand on his chest to stop him, and he's almost already fighting but he puts the fire inside of him down in a snap of a finger, he's not here to fight. That village is a safe space, here they are safe.

"How is he ?" her tone changed, softer, concerned. She's more concerned for James than Aleks though. Just logical since she didn't really had the chance to talk with Aleks. They'd have been good friends in the other world, James thinks.

"He just needs a bit of water, he's okay". James know his voice betrays his lies, but he's also trying to convince himself.

"Take that, then", a voice behind him says, making him turn in one quick move, ready to punch. It's Brett, standing at a safe distance from the punch, holding a bottle of water. It's not new, of course it isn't, but the water inside of it seems clear enough that James feels comfortable enough to take it. "It's from a river north from here, probably more clear than the well right now, it can help a little."

James just nods again, taking the bottle and holding it close to him like the treasure that it is. He just looks at the pair and starts walking away, clearly hearing how Lindsey said "poor guy" even if she said it in a low voice. There's also a clear "mh" from Brett, and that just makes James angry but he doesn't have time nor energy to yell at them.

No, Aleks needs that water.

He gets back in their temporary home, noticing that Aleks is sitting on the mattress, but he keeps his head down, in his hands. James makes more noises then, just to be sure Aleks knows he's here. In a second, Aleks looks up, surprised and then smiling, a weak smile and a quick movement of hands to dry off tears.

"Hey" he says, way too softly, and James says 'hey' back, giving him the bottle, his fingers touching Aleks' ones. "Thanks"

Aleks takes the bottle and drinks a full gulp, looking like he appreciated some cold and clear water for once. James has a small smile at that, blatantly ignoring the fact that Aleks was clearly crying when he entered.

"Lindsey will bring us fitting clothes, I don't know when, but..." James sits next to Aleks, on that rather nice mattress stained with god knows what. Aleks offers him the bottle but he shakes his head. He's thirsty, sure, but Aleks needs it more.

"James..." Aleks doesn't have to say anything more for James to just give in and take the bottle and drink. One gulp, and another one because the first wasn't enough, and a third just to feel a bit satisfied.

A hand goes on James' torso, looking for his pulse, staying there and appreciating the life under his palm. James looks at Aleks, his face, searching for the details, on how he remembers him from earlier days. Aleks now is a bit more pale, even after all this time under the sun. His eyes have a little cloud in it, getting more blurry by the day. 

They both now what caused it, and also know what will happen next, but they don't talk about it. Aleks can barely see the others' reactions when he walks in the little village with James' help. James sees all, the pity and sadness.

It's been less than a month since they arrived here, and James lies to Aleks about having duties for the place to do on some days, just to pretend. Nobody asked him anything, because they know that Aleks doesn't really have much longer, so they just give James freedom until then.

Brett and Lindsey play the game with him, taking turns to help Aleks doing things when James just take a walk around the place to get his ideas clear. He has no idea what to do now, what to do next, he's lost, just as lost as the first day everything went to shit. But when that happened, he found Aleks again and never let go of him. What will he do when he doesn't have him anymore ? He doesn't know.

"Remember the lake we found hidden in the forest ?" Aleks asks him, bringing him back to the present and the past at the same time.

"You mean the one where the water was so clear we thought we were hallucinating ?"

"Yeah, this one." Aleks closes his eyes and puts his forehead on James' shoulder, feeling tired. "I'd kill to go there again, take a bath and scrub all that filth away." He sounds so hopeful, as if thinking about it hard enough would somehow teleports him there.

"Ah, I thought you'd talk about the handjobs" James laughs a little, remembering that moment like the last one were they were relaxed enough to just fool around and feel alive.

"Oh yeah, that too, of course." Aleks laughs but sounds so tired, his head heavy on James' shoulder, like he's about to drift back to sleep in a second.

They stay silent for a little while, the muffled sound of the village waking up around them getting more and more defined. James puts his head on top of Aleks' one, arms going around his now smaller frame. He hums and brushes his hands on Aleks' back, remembering some good days.

"You know what I miss the most ?" He starts, feeling Aleks jerks his head a little, like he was about to sleep and was surprised by James' voice. "I miss the stupid movies we told everyone we were about to watch, just to put them on my tv and comment shit on them as we chilled in the couch."

Aleks laughs, a soft giggle, a sound from the past. James wants to remember it forever. "I mostly remembers you eating ice cream like a pig on purpose, and ending between my legs on good days."

"Bullshit, you were the one between my legs most of the time." James smiles, simple times are long gone, but he still loves remembering them.

"Remember the first time we slept together ? Like, when we actually spent the night together and you kept kissing my neck and I told you to let me sleep and you told me to go sleep on the couch ?"

"Mhm, you complained until I let you be the big spoon."

"I did that so we'd get some sleep !"

They both smile with their words, and James moves a little until he gets a hand under Aleks' chin, holding it a bit up, still offering a warm smile to him even if he probably doesn't see much of it. They exchange a kiss and James tries his hardest not to get sad in the middle of it, jumping when a noise startles him.

Brett is standing in the room, arms crossed and looking as if he was watching some cute puppies playing or something. James curses to himself because he just let his guard down as he was swimming in memories.

"Got you decent shirts, want to take a little walk ?" he asks, and James wonders where he gets his energy from. Where he gets his muscles even ! Like, the guy was a vegetarian before, but had to get some meat after the big shit event (and he thanks every animal he hunts and eats, bless his soul) and if he claims that he lost most of his muscles, he still looks really buff.

"I think I'm good". Aleks is still mostly holding up because of James' support.

"Come on, young man, I can carry you if you want !" Brett offers, really sounding nice today, he usually is, but sometimes there is a bit of a bite in it.

Aleks laughs, weakly, hands going a little tight in James' shirt. "Keep your energy for things that matter." He says that with ease, but the sentence is like a hammer in James' face who just tighten his jaw but says nothing.

Brett looks for something in James' eyes, an answer or a cue, but he gets nothing. So the strong man just puts the shirts down next to them and tells them he'll be around and they just have to yell his name if needed.

Aleks lets himself slides weakly on the mattress, his hand trailing down James' torso before flopping next to him. James' heart tighten, but he doesn't really know what to do except stays sitting, unmoving. In a way, James is glad he didn't move the planks away from the window this morning, so the sun doesn't just ruins everything.

They can hear the activity in the small village, not too noisy but still enough not to get them into an awkward silence. Aleks is having trouble keeping his eyes open, and he grabs James' hand, weak fingers asking to get safe in a stronger hold.

Of course James obeys.

He even gets the cue when Aleks tries to pull on his hand to make him understand to lay down with him. He does just that, keeping his body close, being his big spoon no matter what.

"James-" Aleks sounds tired, ready to sleep, as if it's been ages since his last good one. James makes him understand that he's here and would listen if needed by kissing his neck, as they're both so fond of it. "I'm so tired. And I can barely see, it's not fair, dude." There's a laugh but it's humorless. Aleks is bitter about his situation. He has all the reasons to be. Aleks' fingers squeeze James' ones, and even if they are sweaty, James won't complain. "I'm about to sound gay, but I miss seeing your face in HD."

That gets a laugh out of James, a really surprised one. Gay and HD are two words he hasn't heard in a while, but he missed them like showers and video games. He kisses Aleks' neck again, softly, his thumb brushing on the back of Aleks' hand, both resting on Aleks' hollow stomach.

"To be honest," Aleks sighs, bringing the hands to his mouth and kissing them. That's when James knows it's about to get awful. "I wish you could just put a bullet in my head. You shouldn't have to see me die like that."

"Aleks-"

"It's unfair." A sob, one little sob, and they both just tense up, trying to get as close to the other as possible, seeking the warmth, the smell, the life of the other as it's still there.

They still don't really know what caused the earth to go to shit like that. It wasn't really from here, or maybe it was. Not zombies, but something just as bad that was hunting them, controlling animals or peoples. And yes, it's unfair, nobody deserved that, but Aleks, HIS Aleks, didn't deserve that shit. In fact, James should be the one taking the blame. He was the careless one that slipped off a cliff and almost got himself killed, Aleks saved him. As he was doing so, they got attacked by a desperate guy. 

Maybe they could have handled it better. Maybe not.

James just went by instinct, getting off the edge with Aleks' help, trying to get the guy not to slice Aleks' throat at the same time. It just went too fast, really. The guy got slammed with James' machete in the temple, Aleks got a small cut on his throat that wasn't a problem at all. Well, it wouldn't have been a problem at all if the blood of the other guy didn't touch the injury. The man was cleary infected with that sleepy shit virus that was the second worst thing to come with the fall of humanity.

Sure, Aleks wouldn't turn into a zombie nor would lash out on people or anything. No, he'd just lost his vision slowly and get his strength stripped from him until death. The sleeping beauty death some called it. And they had nothing to fight against it. They tried full pharmacy on that only to get the same result each time. 

The battle was going to end for Aleks, after almost a year of fight. Or was it even a year since it all went down ? Brett said two, but everyone in the village had a different date. 

Anyways, James doesn't know what he's going to do without Aleks. They kept each others alive, when one felt down, the other was there to give him a bit of hope. Without Aleks, what is left of James ? James isn't the one dying but it's just as if he was.

Still, he started talking about memories, about the past, their stupid shenanigans. He needed to remember good days and bring Aleks with him for it. So they talked, or rather : James talked, Aleks listened, sliding into sleep from time to time. James didn't move an inch, talking, kissing his neck, brushing his thumb against the back of Aleks' hand. 

They went back their history, their moments and laughs, embarrassments, the awful pranks, everything that made it so great between them. At times, Aleks squeezed a little on James' fingers and turned his head just enough to get a kiss, another one, a whisper in his ear, whispering something back, reassuring.

The talk went on and on, and James felt weird at some point, shaking his head a little as he got back to the present, that shitty place with planks for a window and a plastic curtain for a door. The world here is shit, it's not the colorful one he visited with his memories for hours and hours. As a reflex, he kissed Aleks' neck and chivered at the sudden lack of warmth from him.

"Aleks ?" he barely whispered, realizing how the fingers weren't really holding his, and how it lacked natural warmth. "Aleksandr ?" He started panicking, not able to feel Aleks' pulse or anything, his own being frantic. "Aleks ?" He felt dried tears trying to fall.

He hide his head at the crook of Aleks' neck, kissing again, and again, whispering sorrys and prayers. He asked him to come back but he wouldn't.

It started with a nice friendship of two little shits until one night, after a lots of laughs and a long game session, they kissed. It was like a dare but they ended rolling on the carpet, laughing like happy idiots, tickling and wrestling each others, yelling bullshit and kissing some more.

Somewhere in his memory, a younger Aleks is smiling, trying to act cool and failing. In his eyes, there is clearly stars as he sees James for the first time, and it is reciprocated.


End file.
